Subject: Bad Day at Work

 

This is even funnier when you realize it’s real! The next time you have

a bad day at work…think of this guy.

 

Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He

performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.

Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio

station 103.2FM in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job

experience contest.

Needless to say, she won!

 

“Hi Sue -

 

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.

Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you’ve been feeling down

lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make

you realize it’s not so bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a

few technicalities of my job.

As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea.

I wear a suit to the office. It’s a wet suit. This time of the year the

water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is

this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000

piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a

delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a

garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.

Now, this sounds like a darn good plan, and I’ve used it several times

with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start

working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit.

This floods my whole suit with warm water. It’s like working in a

Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to

itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.

Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from

my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.

The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my

suit. Now, since I don’t have any hair on my back, the jellyfish

couldn’t stick to it.

 

However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.

When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the

jellyfish into the crack of my but. I informed the dive supervisor of my

dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the

fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing

hysterically.

Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three

agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes

before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.

When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass

helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of

laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to

rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the

fire out, but I couldn’t poop for two days because my butt was swollen

shut.

So - the next time you’re having a bad day at work, think about how much

worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.”

Now repeat to yourself, “I love my job, I love my job, I love my job”